A brief history of the mad world (Mumbai)

Its been time that I have written a blog, but during all this time the experiences I had, I have no words to define them, but that could also be because my vocab is dumb fuck. Anyways lets get on with it.
A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine from Delhi asked me after watching a stand-up comedy video, what is this deal with Thane area? Why is everyone always picking up on that area? To answer that, I had to explain her the whole geography of Mumbai so it makes sense to what I am saying. So I thought il explain it to you too(not why everyone picks up on that area but in general about Mumbai), and after explaining that I will also write down the best places to go in Mumbai if you are here for a day or two, trust me I am overconfident with this subject, as I always tell people that I know more places to go than the people of Mumbai itself, and it's true!

So I will start with a bit of history. I literally have no idea how much old is this place, but what I know is that it was originally called the SEVEN ISLANDS OF BOMBAY because there were seven islands. Anyways, it was a Portuguese territory during the 16th century, which was later on given (taken😄) to (by) Britishers as a gift by Charles II to his wife (tell me what did you give your wife?).

 

Then slowly slowly as it had a port, Britishers started their trade, the businesses increased as a result nature suffered, the river started to fill up with people and all islands eventually became one land called, Bombay. India got freedom, Bombay remained the trade city and also became a city to make movies. So, the city consisted of following prajaties: super rich businessmen(mumbai), service people(outside mumbai), artists(outside mumbai 80%) or media people for the landlords, underworld mafia as this was also a profession once (where there is big money, there is intentional blindness) and then there were the locals of mumbai who were both parsi and maharathi, who literally dislike the people mentioned above (ab jungle mein bahar ke log ayenge toh problem toh hogi, woh bhi when it's an Urban Jungle).

So the population I mentioned above is no less than a population of the whole United Kingdom. Go to Dadar station in the morning or any popular place in Mumbai it will make you feel like the whole Bombay is there that too at a pace which will make you see everyone in a fast motion, it's actually like a Snapchat filter, that tells you the speed of this city. 

Speaking of Bombay-Mumbai, as you must have read sometimes I write Mumbai and sometimes Bombay, please it's not my fault, its the fault of the people who confused the already confused people of India by changing the name of the city in 1995, from Bombay (good port) to Mumbai (home of Mumbadevi), as according to Shiv Sena, prior name was a corrupt name (as if that name changed the people also). I can literally imagine people of shiv sena smoking pot and have this conversation, 

MV 1(Mahan viyakti): we just won the elections of Bombay, but what do we do?

MV 2: but bro tell me one thing, why is it called 'Bombay'?

MV 1: Don't know bro, who do you think must have kept it?

MV 2: Don't know bro, but it sounds like an English name, no wonder security guards in Bandra speaks English.

MV 1: what the fuck? You know I think Britishers have corrupted all of us, let's change the name.

Anyways so Bombay became Mumbai, the surprising part was, instead of uniting the people, it divided them in a very farcical way.

The divisions were as follow:

Town

South Mumbai

Bandra

Struggling area

Film city

Rest of Mumbai

Note: not considering east side, as hardly anyone takes it into consideration.

I guess it would better illustrate on a map, sorry it's hand made.

So this is my version of mumbai, I don't know whether you will be able to make out what all I wrote or not but I will be explaining some if it below. The doted line which goes through the centre is actually the railway track, which divides the east and the west.

That vertical line on the bottom left will tell you that mumbai is actually divided into stages, which goes by class into descending order.

In the map you will see I haven't written anything about Andheri, that was because there was no space and also because there is so much to write. 

Andheri is the home for most of the people who come to mumbai to be in the media industry, majority of the population are originally not from mumbai and the people who are maharathi by origin hate those people(old) living here as they come and take their space, jobs, spread different ideologies plus are from the capital. 

You will mostly find areas like a town, Bandra, Juhu, Andheri open till late night and Andheri wakes up late as well. You will find people of all races, gender, caste whatever all is there existing in this one area trying to achieve the goal they always dreamt of. This is the dream city where dreams do come true. Some come here to submerge themselves into the noise of the city so that they can't hear anything else and some feel they have arrived where they always wanted to be. You will always hear people saying "Mumbai sabko kaam deta hai." This is also the cause of population here. But then mumbai also gives you an identity, it gives you space, it gives you freedom, it tells you who you are when you are not in your own jungle but in the jungle which is made for you.

Il start my travelogue in the next blog, if you follow that guide it will make you fall in love with this city so beware!